Moving up to year 7 is a big step. Here are 10 tips on how to
help your children make the change smoothly
Glynis Kozma
The Guardian, Tuesday 31
August 2010
For families of year 6s, the summer holidays can seem like a long
run-up to that great mountain of mystery and fear that is big school. Some
children will be starting a new school that is 10 times larger than their
primary. Moving up to year 7 is a big step.
Professor Julian Elliott, an educational psychologist at Durham
University, says: "For many children, secondary school represents a step
towards autonomy and the whole process of growing up and leaving childhood
behind." It can be overwhelming for children and parents alike.
But there are things you can do to make things easier, and things you
can think about now that will help your child adjust and settle in quickly.
• Build your child's confidence. Settling in well is all about
self-esteem. Children with high self-esteem are less likely to be bullied, or
to bully, or belong to gangs. They are more likely to gather a wide circle of
friends. They can confidently say "no" to anything with which they
don't feel comfortable. So tell them how great they are. When did you last pay
them a compliment? They don't have to have done anything special to deserve
one; a compliment on how well they look after a pet, or that they are kind or
thoughtful, goes a long way. Do this daily and watch their confidence develop.
• Listen to their fears. Your child is possibly anxious and also
afraid their concerns will appear trivial. For instance, if they become lost in
the maze of corridors, what should they do? They could make their way to the
school office – they should have a map – or find a pupil or teacher to direct them.
What they shouldn't do is hide in the toilets until the lesson is over. Talk
through the options with them. Do this for every concern they may have so that
they know you take it seriously.
• Remind your child that being a good friend, especially to shy and
quiet children, is one way to make friends. Be encouraging if they want to
invite friends home and suggest it if they don't.
• Show that you feel positive about their school and "talk it
up" even if it was not your first choice or you lost an admissions appeal.
If you have high expectations, these will be sensed by your child.
• Have a trial run of the route, especially if they walk or cycle. If
they miss a school bus home you need to talk through what they will do,
especially if you are working and can't pick them up straight away.
• Get up earlier during the last week of the holidays so that early
starts for school aren't a shock to the system.
• Stick to the uniform code. Your child will feel more comfortable
from day one.
• Make sure they have emergency money and credit on their mobile phone
– if it's allowed in school.
• Think about any changes you might need to make at home so they have
the time, space and energy for homework. One parent who has three children
shared her strategy: homework begins at a set time every day, after dinner,
with all three children working simultaneously to avoid distractions. In the
early days you should check their homework diary daily and if it looks empty,
check with other parents or the school. Your child may simply forget to write
it down.
• Encourage them to join lunchtime or after-school clubs. They are a
great way to make friends. If after half a term they really don't enjoy it,
they can drop it.
Give your child a few weeks to settle in. Ensure you know who to contact
for any situation, and the school's preferred means of contact. If they are
having any problems, social or educational, make an appointment to see their
form tutor.
•
Glynis Kozma is author of Secondary School: A Parent's Guide, and was a teacher
for 30 years.
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